Power at work: do you have any, and what are you doing with it?
It's okay to talk about it.
Power is the ability to make decisions, direct yourself and others, and shape the course of events.
Whenever two or more people come together issues of dominance and submission inevitably arise. Manifestly or not, power permeates all our interactions and relationships with family members, friends and co-workers.
Our first and strongest mold for our relationship to power is the child-parent interaction. We are never more needy or helpless than when we're born. For years our survival depends on the benevolence of people who have overwhelming power over us. As children we learn very quickly whether power is used for good, or else.
For some people power is shorthand for safety and opportunity. For them power is desirable, something to pursue and cherish. Power enthusiasts have a good radar for the those with influence and a knack for building close relationships with them. In the workplace that translates to unabashed career ambitions, uninhibited interactions with senior leadership and a good amount of time spent dealing in company politics.
At work we tend to think of power as an attribute of position, but that's inexact. Power is personal, and may or may not overlap with hierarchy. A shop assistant has the power to go above and beyond to make a client happy, or not. A driver can deliver a critical parcel on time, or late. The CEO's assistant can help get anyone fired. Everyone in the workplace has some power, sometimes through their job description but often thanks to their skills and knowledge, personal appeal, relationships capital etc.
Where does your power lay?
Trauma is an injury of devastating powerlessness. Survivors of relational trauma often associate power with threat. They can unconsciously withdraw or be hostile to anyone in power (as I and some of my managers discovered). Survivors can be ambivalent about their own career progression, keen to advance but uneasy at the thought of exerting power.
If you're a survivor reading this, I encourage you to observe how you relate to authority compared to those around you. Are you moving towards power or away from it? Power is not a dirty word, and you don't have to be evil to hold it. Just like sex and money, it's one of the forces that makes the world go round but we’re too shy to talk about. You can either own it, or give it up (and someone else will gladly take it).
So step into your power. Cultivate it and use if for good.
If you are managing or coaching someone with a complicated relationship with authority, start by creating psychological safety. Build an environment where they can start exploring, with you or external help, the dark echoes that power may have for them so they can begin to recalibrate. Bring them closer to positive examples of power - hopefully you have a long list to pick from.
Let me know your experiences with power in the workplace, and I'll be back here next week.
Thanks for tuning in,
Adina
Adina,
I'm humbled by this feedback on my note. Through my reading of your work and that of our fellow substackers, j know for an absolute fact that writing about our experiences helps others thrive.
I know this because I'm experiencing the benefits!
I'm going to start pulling together some early career notes / suggestions for those just starting out on the transition from survival mode to growth during employment. Hopefully I will have something together by Saturday.
I'm excited to collaborate on this mission!
Peace.
Mike
Adina,
These are super tough questions to answer, and that's because they are great questions. Apologies if this is super long:
Let's see if I have anything to contribute -
I've been working as an engineer for 30+ years, have a couple of advanced degrees, and am now pretty high up on the food chain at my company. Most of that time was in government. A fair amount involved military work. I've been in industry at the chief engineer / CTO position now for three years.
1) At the beginning of my career I was still badly splintered and struggling a lot with panic attacks, dissociative episodes, and so on. I had very little power of any sort. Positional authority over technicians but I'm just clever enough to realize that a wet-behind-the-ears new hire is no mental match for a man or woman with 20+ years of experience but no degree. I was assigned an incredible mentor who helped me more than words can say - personally, professionally, and as I tried to recover.
Main problem in early career? Constant, crippling impostor syndrome. Thoughts of "I'm worthless, I'm useless, what the hell am I doing here, I'm just going to screw up."
2) Mid career I was able to get my psychiatric ducks in a row. At the same time I had to assume technical and personnel leadership at the branch level (10-20 people). The major challenge here was bottling up emotions and pretend I was doing infinitely better than I really was inside. Needed to keep certain qualifications intact, and that's hard to do if you're undergoing treatment.
Abuse survivors! It IS possible to get and hold a security clearance. Just make absolutely certain you are open and totally honest about everything going on in your life. Meds, therapy, etc. They're interested in "honest" not necessarily "perfect". They are also concerned about whether you can be blackmailed. If you are keeping your abuse secret from your immediate family... You can be blackmailed. No bueno.
Biggest leadership challenge? Working with highly diverse teams and people with different learning styles. Learning to have the grace to give people the benefit of a doubt. Not being as hard on people and I am on myself. I've learned that abuse survivors can be incredibly harsh critics, without even knowing it.
In any large organization there will be sociopaths making their way up the ladder and blowing right past you. Do not engage. Stay out of the way. Do NOT engage in their BS or politics . They are going to be in charge, and you will have to deal with it. Yes these people will trigger you because you will see reflections of your abuser in them. Just remember that that only the nails that stick out get hammered flat
Biggest personal challenge? Taking on too much stress and going into a suicidal spiral. I got in the way of a highly connected sociopath and learned what I outlined in the above paragraph through years and much bitterness. Key here is knowing which battles to fight.
3) Late career - leadership focus should be on defending your people, coaching them, and doing everything you can to maximize teamwork.
I'm actually enjoying those aspects of my job - if I can "give back" to the community one fiftieth of what my mentor gave me, I'm going to make a positive difference.
Main leadership challenge is striking a balance between discipline and accomodation.
Main personal challenge - and here is where I'm really struggling - is keeping my mind on an even keel during conflict and stress
I'm just coming off a leave of absence due to PTSD issues and some major changes in medication. Fortunately my boss in extraordinarily understanding and helpful!
I hope this helps someone. If anyone has specific challenges with hard sciences and, say, aftermath of childhood abuse and/or PTSD I'm willing to help coach.
Thanks!
Mike