Great article, Adina. What you said about ADHD misdiagnosis is so prevalent and accurate. TikTok self-diagnosis is also a real phenomenon. Many young kids assume they have ADHD because they experience a lack of attention or dysregulation. Psychiatrists have not done a very good job of educating people. As Bruce Perry says, the question clinicians and psychiatrists should be asking is not what's wrong with you but rather what happened to you.
Unfortunately, many people are still confused about the difference between them. It creates additional barriers to getting appropriate treatment. ADHD medications, along with antidepressants, are now the most prescribed drugs in this country.
Thank you, Anna! It’s pretty shocking considering how many people have gone through at least one Adverse Childhood Experience in their lives. There’s a lot of information out there for young people but not always the most accurate one.
I think part of it is the natural maturation process. It’s often not until we're much older that we see how our childhood has adversely impacted us. Sometimes, not until after we have children. It’s been my experience that some people have the desire to explore wounded parts of themselves while others do not. People can find various ways to rationalize why they feel the way they do or behave the way they do. I had a friend who I discovered, only years into our friendship, had a difficult childhood. She was becoming increasingly anxious and hypervigilant when we would go out for coffee or a walk. Her narcissistic, unpredictable father was the reason for her distress. But she did not want to look at the relationship.
Despite my suggestion that EMDR or some form of therapy might help, she refused. I also suggested tapping so that she could calm down her nervous system. I suppose she felt I was trying to control her. That wasn't my intent. It's hard for me to see others in pain when I know they could experience less suffering. But it was ultimately her choice. She just got her doctor, who she absolutely to prescribe a higher dose of benzodiazepine, propropranol, and antidepressants. (Not to pill shame. Some people benefit from drugs. But if that's all someone is willing to do, I believe they may be selling themselves short.) She also got her two adult children on these drugs along with her dog, who takes Prozac. I ended our friendship for several reasons. One of the primary reasons was that she did not want to take responsibility for the quality of her life. She behaved as if she was the victim of circumstances beyond her control. She reached out to me inconsistency or would cancel at the last minute. She spent on social media and enjoyed gossip. It wasn't a relationship that worked for me. My recovery has been long and arduous. I find recovering from trauma requires a solid commitment.
That sounds tough, Anna! It's difficult to witness someone struggle and refuse help, particularly when you can empathise deeply with their distress.
You're spot on I think on the age thing, it takes a while to realise what you went through wasn't normal or okay, and start unpacking that. I think that's particularly tricky for people who haven't had a blatant abuse experience such as physical violence or sexual abuse. I hope your former friend eventually found a way to a happier, healthier life.
I know. I had never heard of prozac for dogs. My sense is the dog picked up on her fears. It’s sad. I had to walk away from the relationship. It just brought up too much for me. Thanks for reading my thoughts as well as responding, Adina.
Draga Adina teme interesante ca intotdeauna. A part of me is tempted to say … well ADHD is one of those labels which goes hand in hand with … medication and pharma companies are ecstatic aren’t they. Also medics have yet another set of tests and questionnaires to apply, open a book look at the results and bingo another person goes in the lifelong chain of doctor/pharma sausage machine cycle. Trauma is less palatable as it is slippery like a fish in your hands. It takes skills lots of them to support a person who went through events causing trauma / going through and so on. It is very much in the same “bag” with narcissistic personality disorder. Great article.
Thanks, Karina! It's complicated, isn't it? There are interest groups, honest ignorance, the natural tendency to turn away from pain... that's just not good enough for survivors who need to know what they are dealing with to have a chance to heal.
Great article, Adina. What you said about ADHD misdiagnosis is so prevalent and accurate. TikTok self-diagnosis is also a real phenomenon. Many young kids assume they have ADHD because they experience a lack of attention or dysregulation. Psychiatrists have not done a very good job of educating people. As Bruce Perry says, the question clinicians and psychiatrists should be asking is not what's wrong with you but rather what happened to you.
Unfortunately, many people are still confused about the difference between them. It creates additional barriers to getting appropriate treatment. ADHD medications, along with antidepressants, are now the most prescribed drugs in this country.
The message you’re sending is so essential.
Thank you, Anna! It’s pretty shocking considering how many people have gone through at least one Adverse Childhood Experience in their lives. There’s a lot of information out there for young people but not always the most accurate one.
I think part of it is the natural maturation process. It’s often not until we're much older that we see how our childhood has adversely impacted us. Sometimes, not until after we have children. It’s been my experience that some people have the desire to explore wounded parts of themselves while others do not. People can find various ways to rationalize why they feel the way they do or behave the way they do. I had a friend who I discovered, only years into our friendship, had a difficult childhood. She was becoming increasingly anxious and hypervigilant when we would go out for coffee or a walk. Her narcissistic, unpredictable father was the reason for her distress. But she did not want to look at the relationship.
Despite my suggestion that EMDR or some form of therapy might help, she refused. I also suggested tapping so that she could calm down her nervous system. I suppose she felt I was trying to control her. That wasn't my intent. It's hard for me to see others in pain when I know they could experience less suffering. But it was ultimately her choice. She just got her doctor, who she absolutely to prescribe a higher dose of benzodiazepine, propropranol, and antidepressants. (Not to pill shame. Some people benefit from drugs. But if that's all someone is willing to do, I believe they may be selling themselves short.) She also got her two adult children on these drugs along with her dog, who takes Prozac. I ended our friendship for several reasons. One of the primary reasons was that she did not want to take responsibility for the quality of her life. She behaved as if she was the victim of circumstances beyond her control. She reached out to me inconsistency or would cancel at the last minute. She spent on social media and enjoyed gossip. It wasn't a relationship that worked for me. My recovery has been long and arduous. I find recovering from trauma requires a solid commitment.
That sounds tough, Anna! It's difficult to witness someone struggle and refuse help, particularly when you can empathise deeply with their distress.
You're spot on I think on the age thing, it takes a while to realise what you went through wasn't normal or okay, and start unpacking that. I think that's particularly tricky for people who haven't had a blatant abuse experience such as physical violence or sexual abuse. I hope your former friend eventually found a way to a happier, healthier life.
Also - dog on Prozac???
I know. I had never heard of prozac for dogs. My sense is the dog picked up on her fears. It’s sad. I had to walk away from the relationship. It just brought up too much for me. Thanks for reading my thoughts as well as responding, Adina.
Draga Adina teme interesante ca intotdeauna. A part of me is tempted to say … well ADHD is one of those labels which goes hand in hand with … medication and pharma companies are ecstatic aren’t they. Also medics have yet another set of tests and questionnaires to apply, open a book look at the results and bingo another person goes in the lifelong chain of doctor/pharma sausage machine cycle. Trauma is less palatable as it is slippery like a fish in your hands. It takes skills lots of them to support a person who went through events causing trauma / going through and so on. It is very much in the same “bag” with narcissistic personality disorder. Great article.
Thanks, Karina! It's complicated, isn't it? There are interest groups, honest ignorance, the natural tendency to turn away from pain... that's just not good enough for survivors who need to know what they are dealing with to have a chance to heal.