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Mike's avatar

Adina,

In terms of actual, literal triggers on the job I'd have to say that out-of-control anger is a huge one. Table pounding, door slamming, and more passive expressions of anger will cause us problems all the time.

Layoffs? Absolutely. I understand that you are an HR expert and I cannot imagine how stressful the layoffs are to the HR staff. At my last company I spoke with my HR lead about this and she told me she would be stuck in her car crying her eyes out before summoning the grit to go in the building to handle the inevitable. I just couldn't do it.

Interpersonal conflict - even when it doesn't involve me - is a big one. Especially when people consciously or unconsciously try to manipulate you into choosing sides. "You've got to agree with me! Jack is a poopy head because he won't...". No, I don't *have* to agree to anything, thanks. Sometimes I get sucked in anyways and we end up playing a game of Dysfunctional Family.

Backstabbing. I think that says it all.

I think a lot of people are shocked when grown men throw temper tantrums, throw things around, slam doors, etc. But why should that surprise us? We've seen that at home. And if we have trouble with it there, we will have trouble handling it in the office.

But today was a good day! Nothing completely nuts, we just worked together well and left on a good note. I'm extremely thankful, and hope you had a great day as well.

Take care!

Mike

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Karina's avatar

Your work is valuable, and so are Mike’s honest and open articles. It took me a while to share my stories on a platform like this, but I have no regrets. I will keep writing and expanding on it as the topic is relevant nowadays. Sadly, there is a clear connection between early childhood trauma and workplace trauma. For those of us who have experienced it, the impact runs much deeper—it layers onto our already fragmented selves, intensifying the pain and prolonging recovery.

Coping strategies… I’m smiling—a sad smile—because none of mine truly worked. I just tried harder, worked longer hours, took on more responsibilities, sank deeper into depression, and found myself trapped in the same patterns from childhood, repeating them over and over again. What I know is that a toxic environment is a toxic environment. One needs to just do ones’s best to escape quickly - look for another job. People don t change. I look forward to reading other points of view!

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