A trauma survivor's guide to workplace triggers - part 1

"In many ways, the modern workplace seems almost scientifically engineered to make us feel unsafe." (Stephen & Seth Porges)

One defining characteristic of trauma is a loss of felt safety. Independent of the specific type of atrocity (or atrocities; some people are unlucky like that) that can shatter someone’s life, all survivors are left with an enduring sense that something bad, really bad, can happen anytime. A survivor’s neuroception - a built-in neurological ‘surveillance system’ we all have that continuously scans people, our own body, and the environment for cues of safety and danger - becomes particularly sensitive to any sign of threat and can set off very strong emotional and behavioural reactions in response to things other people can simply discount.

In addition to feeling unsafe, at the core of being abused there’s a hot branded experience of complete loss of personal agency, invasion of self, and humiliation. Future experiences that resemble in any way the traumatic injury are likely to make survivors miserable or even throw them in crisis.

Unfortunately the modern workplace can be very destabilizing - to anyone. There is the formal workplace abuse that one can be exposed to (bullying, sexual harassment, firing without cause etc.) and then there are the myriad of interactions and circumstances that echo more subtle abusive dynamics.

In a world where most people are oblivious of the specific challenges work poses for abuse and trauma survivors, it’s been reaffirming to come across an entire chapter on this topic in Stephen and Seth Porges’s book, Our Polyvagal World: How Safety and Trauma Changes Us. The book prompted many memories of my own experience at work, so I decided to share here some of the things that often put a huge strain on people at work, and particularly on trauma survivors. I’m afraid I’ve built a long list so I will need to split it into two separate articles.

The expectation to be always on

Technology has made it possible to contact someone anytime, anywhere. Unsurprisingly, some abuse the combined power of their position and internet connection at the expense of other people’s out-of-hours peace of mind and recovery time. I have personally worked for a senior leader who regularly texted and emailed around the clock (a 2am email was not uncommon, they proudly slept only 4 hours at night) and who would, apologetically but firmly, assign work on a Friday for review on Monday. Switching off your work phone on weekends would have been in effect a resignation.

Trauma survivors need to be able to disconnect mentally and emotionally when they leave work, and may need more time to soothe their overactive nervous systems than your average Joe.

Constant monitoring and overmanagement

Some jobs are just a no no for abuse survivors. Customer care roles with their relentless targets and invasive metrics, scripted conversations and ratings from complete strangers that have real implications for your pay and career. Sales jobs where you must project positivity and warmth no matter how your day has been and even towards the most rude or unreasonable client. Way too close to the fire for us.

But it’s no longer just certain jobs. Whether you’re a CEO or a shop assistant, you’re increasingly exposed and liable. Emails can’t be taken back, your internet search history is monitored, access cards system reports tell exactly when you left the office and any shred of privacy is lost in open workspaces.

I’ve had a manager who casually informed me that they will check in if I’m ‘Away’ on Teams for too long. Another one expected to be copied in every single email their team members sent.

People need trust and freedom, not control. Abuse survivors in particular do not do well inspected and restrained.

Sensory overload

Too much stimulation can be a particular type of hell for an already overburdened nervous system. The stream of emails, meetings, phone notifications, the smells and noises of the office, the constant chatter, and usually unproductive, interruptions of passers by (serendipitous collaboration, anyone?), commuting in a busy train are all sustained by a finite amount of energy and attention. Trauma survivors have little to spare.

I will pause here for now, but I would love to hear from other survivors and what were some of the things that you found really difficult to deal with in your jobs due to your trauma history.

Leaving a toxic job or employer is the best option, and sometimes the only option, for many survivors. And the sad reality is that quitting to protect one’s mental health happens more often than we think.

Thanks for tuning in,

Adina