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Wendy McWaffle's avatar

I’d love to talk to you more about this. I’ve ended up at a tricky point where I’m living with shitty events from years ago, which many have acknowledged as trauma - but which other people think is something I need to “put away” or is, as you mentioned, a personality disorder. It’s really difficult. I’ve had plenty of people support - and others disagree with those who minimise it - but it feels like unless I have some definitive answers all around it won’t go away - like a psychological parasite. The crap happened 10-15 years ago, when I was a kid, but it wasn’t until last year that I put the puzzle together, if that makes sense.

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Mike's avatar

Dear Adina,

I'm so very glad that the friends you opened up to were accepting and, frankly, that you had the courage to do this. Every burden is easier to carry when it is shared, no matter how little or much others can carry of it.

Your point about making sure you are open and honest about your past with a life partner BEFORE kids and mortgages are involved in spot on. If one cannot make a relationship work with full knowledge it's best to know that before the inevitable blast radius affects more than two.

Disclosure with colleagues? Seriously risky. I've had professionals with an obligation to uphold my privacy (security officers!) out me to others and wouldn't wish that on anyone. On the other hand, radical openness has on rare occasions helped others to open up about their own challenges and has led to addressing issues through counseling and therapy

One thing about openness about the past though - you find out pretty quickly who is on your support team!

Peace,

Mike

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